Hello Cleveland! Rock and Roll!

AP Photo/Mark Duncan

Now THAT's what a trade deadline should look like! Since late November, there have been 14 deals involving 54 players. And we have one person to thank for all of that action: Kwame Brown!

Had the Creator not blessed such a lifeless, talentless ninny with a 6-11, 270 lbs. shell, NBA general managers never would have the desire to actually trade for Brown, hoping that their situation will be the one to finally harness his potential and turn him into a 10-time All-Star. The Pau Gasol for Brown-Crittenton heist that the Lakers pulled off set off a feeding frenzy of players swapping uniforms, future draft picks, and cash considerations.

The West is now more open than Kobe's teammates during his 81-point game last year. The Lakers obviously improved with Gasol. Kurt Thomas will make the Spurs better and tougher. We have to wait and see with the Suns Shaq experiment, as well as with Jason Kidd's return to Dallas. Utah's acquisition of sharpshooter Kyle Korver makes them incredibly balanced on offense and an intriguing darkhorse.

However, the most signficant trade was the last one completed, a three-team swap that FINALLY got King James some help in Cleveland. The details:

Cleveland trades Ira Newble and Donyell Marshall to Seattle
Chicago trades Ben Wallace, Joe Smith and a 2009 second-round pick to Cleveland; Seattle trades Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West to Cleveland
Cleveland sends Larry Hughes, Drew Gooden, Cedric Simmons, and Shannon Brown to Chicago
Chicago sends Adrian Griffin to Seattle.

What makes this a great trade for Cleveland is not necessarily what they are getting back. It's what they're getting rid of. Shedding Larry Hughes (a less than 40 percent shooter) and his $40 million over the next three years contract of the books now allows LeBron to pass the ball to someone who might actually knock down shots (Wally, Delonte West).

Cleveland also gets rid of Drew Gooden, who is more famous for his homeless beard and bizarre back-of-the-head soul patch than for actually getting a rebound or making a layup. He is replaced by Joe Smith, whose consistency will be much appreciated. Ben Wallace will body up on the opposition's top post player, allowing Zydrunas Ilgauskus to stay out of foul trouble and on the floor.

If you've been paying attention this year, you've seen LeBron make yet another leap, from unguardable superstar to utterly dominant offensive juggernaut. He alone got his Cavs to the Finals last year. The new guys will come in and play consistent basketball. They will do their jobs and not seek credit or attention.

For the past two years, like all of us, the other 11 members of the Cleveleand Cavs have been "Witnesses" to LeBron's greatness. Now, they could most certainly be accomplices to his takeover to the title.

So thanks again, Kwame Brown. Now go practice catching the ball.

A Lesson In Class

(AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

When you hear "Jordan" and "50 point-game" in the same sentence, your mind automatically defaults to His Airness, who did the deed more than a few times in his illustriousl career. But a Google search of those terms will bring up a more recent listing.

On Feb. 8, Denver Nuggets forward Carmelo Anthony netted a career-high 49 points versus the Washington Wizards, coached by Eddie Jordan. Following the game, the big story wasn't Melo's effort, nor the Nuggets 111-100 win. Reportedly, Jordan was upset that Anthony checked back into the game with six mintes left in the fourth quarter, thinking that the Nuggets were trying to embarrass his team.

"I thought it was very classless to close the game out," Jordan said. "I have my opinion. I can say what I want to say. That's what I thought it was."

The kicker? The Nuggets were only up by 10 points when Anthony returned! A lead like that is NOTHING in the NBA.

So here's a message for Eddie Jordan: JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

In the final minute, Anthony drained a three-pointer from the top of the key to give him 47 points. On the next possession, he was fouled and made two free throws. When the Nuggets got the ball back one more time, giving Anthony the chance to reach the milestone point total, Jordan actually instructed his squad to double- and triple-team Anthony to prevent him from getting the ball.

And the Nuggets are classless? Here's one: If you don't want one of the most prolific scorers in the league to go off against you, don't wait until he already has 49 points to decide to put more than a single single defender on him. For the game, Anthony shot a blistering 19-25 and made all eight free throw attempts. (Notice they were playing him man up the whole game, until the end)

I'm sure that Jordan didn't mind when his own player Gilbert Arenas dropped 60 and 54 points on the Suns and Lakers in consecutive games last year. Jordan needs to learn to be a man and take his whuppin' when it comes to him.

I Feel Like I'm Taking Crazy Pills!

When I first heard the rumors that Shaquille O’Neal was heading to Phoenix, I had the same thoughts as everyone else: “You mean that Shaquille O’Neal, and those Phoenix Suns. Steve Kerr is a moron! That’s about as likely to work out as the Grizzlies trading their franchise player for Kwame Brown.” (Wait, what? You’re kidding!)

We’ve heard it all before about “The Big Osteoporosis.” He’s out of shape. True. He’s a shell of his former self. True. He can’t run the floor anymore. True. Besides, didn’t the Suns already try the obese center routine with limited success in the past?

But as I’ve had a few days to ruminate on the acquisition, I’m starting to believe it might actually work. Let’s face it, the Suns only chance to win in the playoffs this year was to beat San Antonio or Dallas or anyone else with their own style of play, the uptempo “Seven Seconds Or Less” mentality. It hasn’t worked in the past, so why are we to think it will work this year?

In getting Shaq, they accomplish two things. One, they get rid of malcontent Shawn Marion, who despite all of his considerable skills, never really took to playing the third wheel to Steve Nash and Amare Stoudamire. And two, they now have the most physical center in the league to guard the likes of Tim Duncan and Yao Ming and Andrew Bynum and Carlos Boozer. Because as any fan of basketball will tell you, Amare can’t. Period.

So will Shaq come in and shed 30 pounds and run the floor like a deer and get back to his 25 and 10 ways? No. That train sailed long ago. But do the Suns need him to do that? Again, no. Will he come in and loosen up the locker room, and motivate Amare to dominate in the post, and muscle up with all the bigs in the West, and rebound and block shots, and start the Suns vaunted fast-break with pinpoint outlet passes, and hammer home every quick dish off that Nash gives him in the paint? Yeah, he will.

I’m not gonna sit here and say it will be enough to win the West. The Suns will need to find a reliable (I said reliable Raja Bell, pipe down) third scorer to replace what Matrix gave them. But I think with one blockbuster move, they are closer to a title now than they were a week ago.

Most importantly, the Diesel knows his role.

“I’m no idiot. I’m not coming in here to try and take over,” he said. “I’ll fit in very, very nicely – rebounding, on outlets, setting picks for Steve, getting easy buckets, playing some defense… That’s what I aim to do.”

It will certainly be fun to watch...

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