The Writers' Strike Can't Touch These Awards...

All-Star Weekend, Feb. 15-17 marks the “unofficial” halfway point of the NBA season. But with most teams having played 41 out of 82 games, the regular season is sadly half over. I won’t bore you with my MVP, Coach and Rookie awards of the midseason. Who am I kidding, yeah I will. Pundits and non-experts alike will agree with most of these picks. There’s no real mystery here:

MVP – Kobe Bryant
Coach of the Year – Nate McMillan
Rookie of the Year – Kevin Durant
Biggest surprise – New Orleans Hornets (above)
Biggest disappointment – Chicago Bulls

That said, it’s time to hand out some fictitious hardware, cuz that’s always fun, right?

In & Out Cheeseburger Award – Marcus Camby, Nuggets.
On Jan. 17 vs. Utah, Camby had the most “Animal Style” double-double of the year, posting 24 rebounds and 11 blocks. He leads the league in rebounds and blocks, and has reached 20+ rebounds a whopping 10 times this year. The man eats glass like he’s trying to set a weird Guiness record.

Thank God I Had the No. 10 Pick In My Fantasy Draft This Year Award – Chris Paul, Hornets. Woe to those fantasy owners who took Gilbert Arenas, or Dirk Nowitzki, or Yao Ming with their top pick this year. The steal of all drafts has been Paul, who is first in all draft rankings at this point in the season. (And yes, I own him. And no, he’s not going anywhere…)

Hottest Spaniard Since Penelope Cruz Award – Jose Calderon, Raptors.

There were many who even before the year thought that Calderon should have been starting for the Raptors. T.J. Ford’s unfortunate neck injury made it a moot point, and Calderon has done nothing to disappoint. He leads the league in assist/turnover ratio at 5.54, and has averaged 14 points and 10 assists in January.

The Nene Hilario Can’t Stay Healthy Award – Nene, Nuggets.

After missing six weeks earlier this season with a broken thumb, sadly Nene was again sidelined with what turned out to be testicular cancer. ESPN analyst J.A. Adande recently wrote a telling column about the tragedy of such a talented player being betrayed by his gift – his own body. Our thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. When he’s healthy, there isn’t a more beastly big man in the league at coming off the pick and roll. See for yourself.

The David Hasselhoff Most Unexpected Comeback Award – Joe Smith, Bulls.

A former No. 1 pick with the Warriors in 1995, Smith has been an NBA journeyman since 2000, logging minutes with the Timberwolves, Bucks, Pistons, Nuggets, Sixers and Bulls. His numbers aren’t staggering (10.5 ppg / 5 rebs), but Smith has played well enough to keep talented youngsters Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah on the bench.

The What Did I Do To Deserve This? Award – Paul Davis, Clippers.

Davis was a decent player at Michigan State. He was drafted in the second round in 2006 by the Clippers and has done nothing of significance in the League. But one has to wonder whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing that this is what he’s most famous for – getting dunked on by Dwyane Wade for Gatorade’s benefit.


The Wait A Second, who Dropped 40 Points? Award – Linas Kleiza, Nuggets.

In the same game vs. Utah in which Camby went nutty, Kleiza did as well, shooting 13-21, including four 3-pointers en route to 41 points. He added nine rebounds in the contest. Kleiza has filled in admirably for an injured Carmelo Anthony recently, scoring 20+ points in three of his last five games.

The Kevin Costner Fallen Star Award – Steve Francis, Rockets.

In the early 90s, was there a bigger movie star on the planet than Costner, who pumped out Dances With Wolves, Field of Dreams, Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves, and JFK to name a few. Now? Nothing.

The same could once be said for “Stevie Franchise,” who from 1999-2005 averaged approximately 19 point, 6 rebounds and 6 assists on the daily. He was an explosive offensive force and potential Hall of Famer. But after burning bridges in Orlando and New York, Francis returned to Houston and has gotten run in 10 games this season, but none since Dec. 15. Good thing he got that $30M buyout from Portland earlier this summer. More like Stevie Fran-cheese!

The Mary Kate and Ashely Most Annoying Twins Award – Jason (Nets) and Jarron (Jazz) Collins. Jarron is averaging 2.1 points and 1.9 rebounds per game. Jason is averaging 1.3 points and 2.1 rebounds per game. Really? Do we need the Collins Twins taking up roster spots in the league? Did these guys each get only one half of the talent of actual person? NBA: Where splitting human embryos happens.

The “Samson” Award For Beard Strength – Baron Davis, Warriors.

Baron Davis started growing a beard two years ago. Before that time, basketball card manufacturers were actually printing Baron Davis – INJ on his cards. Harnessing the strength tantamount to the long-haired Biblical strongman, Davis’ 20-point, 8 assist per game averages over the last two years have helped Golden State’s resurgence. Many will speculate about the turnaround, but I have my own theory.

The “My Super Sweet 16” Award For Spoiled Brats – Stephon Marbury, Knicks.

The drama with the Knicks, and with Marbury specifically, has gone from the ridiculous to the surreal. From public feuds with his coaches Larry Brown and now Isaiah Thomas, inexplicably leaving the team upon finding that he was being removed from the starting lineup, reportedly threatening to blackmail Thomas if he wasn’t inserted as a starter, to admitting to luring a young Knicks intern into his car for a sexual encounter, Steph needs to drop the entitled millionaire, Veruca Salt act and fast. Recent surgery on his ankle will keep him out indefinitely, but upon his return, for whatever team it may be, NBA fans are begging him to just play ball and make shoes.

The “Arrested Development” Better Enjoy It While It Lasts Award – New Orleans Hornets. After beating Denver last night, the Hornets now sit atop the Western Conference with a 32-12 record. Chris Paul is a legit MVP candidate. Tyson Chandler is playing the best basketball of his career. Peja Stojakovic is back to being Peja Stojakovic. And David West is a potential All-Star and still one of the more underrated players in the league. And guess what? It might not matter if the organization decides to relocate.

Despite re-signing a leasing agreement with the State of Louisiana that would keep the team in New Orleans until 2014, the team can opt out of that lease if certain attendance figures aren’t met. Owner George Shinn has expressed his desire to keep the team in the Big Easy, but it’s understandable that the people of New Orleans might not see spending money to support an NBA franchise as a top priority. Even still, CP3 and Co. has made the rest of the league stand up and take notice, and should be applauded.

The “Movin’ On Up” Award – Al Jefferson, Timberwolves.

Appropriately, there’s another Jefferson who’s finally got a piece of the pie, and it’s not George or Wheezy. Big Al has become one of the best low post scorers in the Association. If he played in the Eastern Conference, he’d be an All-Star for sure. After having a mini-breakout last season, he’s ballin’ to the tune of 21 and 12, with 1.3 blocks this campaign. On Jan. 23 against Phoenix, Jefferson dropped 39 points and had 15 rebounds. Four nights later, he went one better, netting a career-high 40 points and grabbing 19 boards. Yeah, I think it’s safe to say he’s arrived and Minnesota has found its next franchise player.

And just because it’s fun to play devil’s advocate, Kevin Garnett is only averaging 19 points and 10 rebounds this year. I’m just saying…

Enjoy the second half, kids.

Where "Being The Coolest Cat On The Planet And Not Just Because You Play Professional Basketball" Happens

By now, if you know me, or if by chance you have nothing better to do with your life and you've read this blog, you know about my full-fledged man-crush on Phoenix Suns guard Steve Nash. And I have my reasons. It's not just because he's a huge soccer fan. It's not just because he's a two-time MVP. It's not just because he plays basketball the way it is supposed to be played. It's not even because he's one of the genuinely nice professional athletes that I've gotten to interview.

It's because Steve Nash is a chameleon. A jack-of-all-trades. It's because he embodies what humanity should try to embody in life: creativity, hard work, a sense of humor, perserverance, having fun, humility.

I'm not trying to sit here on my little soapbox and tell you why you should like Steve Nash. (And I know I'm getting a little YouTube video crazy lately with these posts.) But do me a favor. Take a moment to watch these three videos and then ask yourself, "What's NOT to like?"

WINNING THE JIM CARREY IN DUMB & DUMBER LOOK-A-LIKE CONTEST


BREAKIN' ANKLES ON THE HARDWOOD AND ON THE PITCH



NEVER SAYING THE WORD "NEVER"




EY + SN = Forever! I heart you Stevie!

Remember The "Ty-tan"

With a 93-81 win over UNC-Asheville, my beloved North Carolina Tar Heels improved their record to 16-0 and finished the non-conference season unscathed. They have been ranked No. 1 in the country since the preseason, and now sit atop the list of only five undefeated teams.

Point guard Ty Lawson drives the speedboat, and 2-guard Wayne Ellington as improved markedly from from last year, as he is armed with one of the smoothest strokes in the country. But the one who makes it all go is Tyler Hansbrough.

Yada, yada, yada, we've all heard it before. Hansbrough this, Hansbrough that. The truth is, he's the most polarizing figure in college basketball. The lovers will go on and on about his work ethic (which is the best in the country) and his intensity and his incomparable production. The haters will berate him for his sometimes reckless play in the post, and the fact that he often seems out of control.

And you know what? They're both right. For all of his domination, Hansbrough still has a lot to learn about basketball. He's horrendous at passing out of a double-team, and often forces shots while trying to get fouls called with his bullish style. But that said, if you think he's nothing more than a glorified Mark Madsen, you're sadly mistaken. I've never seen Madsen do this. Or this. Or certainly this (yes, you saw right. That guy really is 7-7!)

The big argument is not whether or not Hansbrough will be an All-American (which he will) or lead Carolina to its second title in four years (which he should), the question is what kind of pro will he be?

My answer to that question is: why does it matter? Why not just enjoy the passion and intensity with which he plays the game now? Why not enjoy the 360s and the dunks over giants? Why not enjoy watching him get his nose broken and pop right back up? And why not enjoy watching him rip his protective facemask off and drop 33 and 9 on Michigan State in the NCAA Tournament?

Tyler Hansbrough is a special college basketball player. And love him or hate him, you'll always remember him.

(For the record, I'm not dodging the inevitable NBA question. I think Hansbrough will have a solid career. Never an All-Star. Always a contributor. Think Sam Perkins, or Rik Smits - although Smits was named to one All-Star team.)

Return To Rip City

Sam Forencich/NBAE/Getty Images

November 14. November 14 is the last time I posted on this "all-inclusive NBA Blog." That's pathetic. I resolve to write more this year. And to drop that holiday weight. And to stop kidnapping transient hobos.

While November 14 is significant to me in that it was the last time I got inspired to natter on about the greatest game in the world, that day is significant to the Portland Trailblazers for a different reason. That was the day that they began a stretch when they lost 9 out of 10 games, pushing their record to 5-12, and making long suffering Blazers fans start the countdown to the Oden Era.

Since then, something remarkable has happened. As if summoning the Rose Garden ghosts of great Blazers of the past, Portland has inexplicably rattled off 14 out of 15 wins, including an NBA-best 13 straight games this season. They now sit mere percentage points behind Denver for first place in the Northwest Division, and have come together as a team to make an early-season playoff push.

Rather than harkening the "curse" of Portland big men, perhaps Oden's knee injury is a blessing in disguise. Maybe the team is learning how to be a team and not rely on "the Saviour-in-No. 1-draft-pick's-clothing."

All this Blazers talk has inspired me to share quite possibly the greatest 80s promotional video in the world, "Bust A Bucket." There's more unexpected comedy in this than can even be imagined. And just when you think it can't get weirder, they bust out the silly string! And yes, that is Terry Porter in a red and yellow jogging suit. And double yes, Jerome Kersey now has a new legacy. Amazing pipes on that guy! Enjoy everyone, and remember:

"Bust a bucket, who'd a dunk it, Blazer duty, super sunk it, slamin' geez it, killer threes it, go up, get it, got it, good!"