Before the season, the Wizards’ DeShawn Stevenson started growing a beard. Sounds arbitrary enough until you consider why. The reason? He made a bet with Chicago Bulls forward Drew Gooden to see who could go the longest without shaving his facial hair. The two are good friends ever since their days as AAU teammates and high school rivals in California.While hanging out in Orlando, where both live in the offseason, the two Rip Van Winkle wannabes made the “friendly” wager, which is really silly when you think that two millionaires have nothing better to do with there money but to bet thousands of dollars to see who can show the most contempt for personal hygiene.
But I digress…
As of now, it looks as if Gooden has a slight edge in length and fullness, but both have said they're in it to win it, with Gooden even saying, "He has no idea how committed I am. I'm more than willing to take this into next season."
Which got me to thinking about the best-ever NBA beards. Obviously, this is just one man's opinion, and I welcome your thoughts about those on (or off) the list.
The Duo – Walt Frazier and Earl Monroe (circa 1973)One of the best backcourt combinations in NBA history should have one of the best beard combos. As “pimpalicious” as anyone in their day “Clyde” and “The Pearl” were for slick facial hair what Teddy Pendergrass and Curtis Mayfield were for smoothed out, baby-making slow jams.
The Lumberjack – Mark Eaton (circa 1988)
Standing 7-4, Mark Eaton was a man-mountain. So it makes sense that he would look like a mountain man. Let’s face it, put a plaid flannel shirt on this guy and give him a pet ox and you’ve got a modern day Paul Bunyan. In Eaton’s defense though, you’ve gotta respect someone who can pull off wearing the most arbitrary number in the history of the league, 53.
The Terrorist – Vladimir Radmanovic (circa 2007)
Let’s hope that passport is updated, Vlad. You don’t really pull off inconspicuous below average NBA player with that look.
The Kung Fu Master – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (circa 1978)
No real reason to include this one, other than Kareem had a beard. And any chance I get to mention his brilliant performance in the Bruce Lee film “Game of Death,” I’m jumping on.
The Barbarian – Wilt Chamberlain (circa 1984)
Sticking with the movie theme, before I even knew who Wilt Chamberlain was, I knew who Bombaata was. As the renegade Mongolian guardian of Jehna, rightful heiress to the kingdom of Shadazar, Wilt proved quite a formidable foe to Conan in the 1984 movie “Conan The Destroyer.” Only later did I learn that Chamberlain was one of the greatest players in the history of the sport. No matter. His deft use of a mace-axe will be what lingers in my memory forever.
The Hippie – Bill Walton (circa 1977)
Could there be a beard list without Bill Walton? I think not.
The Homeless Crackhead – Rasheed Wallace (circa 2005-2006)
Rasheed grew his playoff beard in 2006 in hopes of getting back to Finals after having lost to San Antonio a year before. Though his intentions were good, the results were not. As his jovial smile and wrecked grill illustrate, you almost expected to see Roscoe standing outside The Palace at Auburn Hills with a sign that reads, “Will Yell At Refs For Food.”
The Chameleon – Scot Pollard (circa 2006)
One of the most recognizable bench players in the history of the league, Pollard’s unique hair and facial decisions is the stuff of legend. During his 10-year career, Pollard has run the gamut of questionable style, including wolfman mutton chops, a shaved bald head, a fu Manchu mustache, long emo hair with bangs, a Chinese top knot, to my personal favorite, the bleached Mohawk double-pronged goatee. Actually, Pollard needs his own column.
The Legend – Teen Wolf (circa 1985)
This beard gets bonus points for its association with the full body hairsuit. As the superstar for the Beacon Town Beavers, Scotty Howard cast his legacy by biting beer cans, doing handstands on the roof of “The Wolfmobile” and breaking fools off on the hardwood.
